I wrote this post a few weeks ago when sleep was elusive and as my mind wandered I took to my phone found my WordPress app and shared with you my anxious musings.
11:15 pm on a Sunday night. I have work in the morning but my mind is ladened with desires and dreams, wants and hopes for tomorrow and the future.
Anxiety. A feeling all too familiar. Inextricably linked to my ambitious nature. Always wanting to be, to do, to evolve and become. Somehow still trapped in the present presence of what still is and is not yet. Confused that my efforts seem to avail nothing. Powerless I feel to create my own destiny. Destined to fail over and over again. Fearing that I may never actually achieve that which makes me anxious.
Alone with these thoughts my only comfort is my God. The one who sustains my mind and body. Though conflicted, assured I am that, that which ought to be will be fulfilled and my true fixation should be upon rebuilding the tower of my faith. Fortified by past experience, tested tried and true. Remembering the old like it was new. Pushing anxiety aside and relying on faith believing, that which I do is not in vain.
Ever so often I enter a mode of deep contemplation, thinking about everything and nothing all at the same time. The process will usually exhaust me and leave me in a lower place than I started. However in those moments when I’m weakest I’m convinced the only thing that keeps me going is my faith.
I hope this is a reminder to us all that we all struggle, especially as millenials, it may seem as if our goal is fleeting but nothing is ever gained from worry. Continue to work toward your goals and remember:
“And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;  Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ.” Col 3:23-24
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